Saturday, December 04, 2010

Update on Joseph... and how's that schedule going?

Praise be to God, he's not in the hospital!

He managed to gain 5.5 oz in 2 days, which gave our pediatrician enough encouragement that he was willing to go another week. We'll go back in next Friday and see how much he has gained.

I know I should be nothing but joyful, but I'm still sad that breastfeeding alone, at least for now, isn't going to be enough for him. I'm also devastated that the whole time he's been fussy, he was crying for more food. I had no way of knowing that -- he was nursing great, gaining weight (rather slowly), etc. I called my parents, sobbing on the phone about how guilty I felt. My dad said, "Babe, you have nothing to feel guilty about. You were doing everything you could. The only time you'd be right to feel guilty is if you knew what he needed, and willfully withheld it from him."

I love my dad. He always has a way of encouraging me when I need it most.

I'm still praying for that miracle, though!

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You know those "talking bug I.D." magnifying glasses?
The ones that start off with asking, "Do you want to I.D. a bug?"

We can't convince Grace that it's not saying, "Do you want to eat a bug?"

Games are so much different in her world...

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So, how's that schedule going?
I'm sure that's what everyone wants to know!

I am thrilled to report that even with Thanksgiving... house guests... and many unexpected doctor visits, we are still basically on schedule. The house is getting deep cleaned on a weekly basis, but without the hours-long effort that it used to take. We simply schedule a half-hour of "zone cleaning" (thanks to the FlyLady!) which seems to take care of just about everything!

The BIGGEST bonus, however, has nothing to do with a clean house.

I, like most women who stay home, I suppose, had a mental list of all the things that were out of place or needed attention. I kept a running tab of everything that needed to be done, and that list kept growing and growing, no matter how much work I did during the day. What I didn't realize, however, was how much I resented the fact that my husband didn't "see" what needed to be done and jump in and help as soon as he got home. I kept a running dialogue in my head:

"How can he just sit there and relax when there is a bathroom that needs cleaning/a load of laundry that needs folding/a rug crying out to be vacuumed/whatever?"

I knew that evenings should be time of relaxation. Jen at Conversion Diary had several posts on working with the rhythm of the day, and not trying to pack more in than can be done during the daylight hours. I knew I was driving myself crazy working until 11 pm at night, and contributing to that feeling of uneasiness in our home.

A friend of mine made a great point at Bible study last week. She said something to the effect of, "If I were to go to my husband's office, I wouldn't just jump right in and start working. I would hear the phone ringing, and see all the stuff in his in-box, but I wouldn't have a clue what needed to be done. I would just sit there and wait until he told me how I could help."

Bingo! I realized that my poor husband was coming in cold, totally oblivious to all the stresses of the day and what had happened in the house while he was at work. To expect him to just jump right in, unasked, and somehow read my mind and work on my mental list, was ridiculous.

Now that we are tackling that "mental list of mine" during the day, I am free in the evening to RELAX, and allow my husband that same freedom, without expecting him to jump right in and start working as soon as he gets home. The result has been a much slower-paced evening and a much happier, peaceful home.

Praise the Lord!

5 comments:

Suburban Cowgirl said...

hooray! And thanks for the insight about the mental list ;)

Betty Beguiles said...

Hello, pretty lady! Can you email me (bettybeguiles at gmail dot com)? I have a message to deliver to you. Ooooh...mysterious! ;)

So happy to hear things are going better! We'll keep praying!

Jen Raiche said...

Our little Jozef, when he was 11 months old, was in the same boat. Fussy and unhappy. He was also anemic--not sure if the two are related, but it might be worth checking out. He just wasn't getting enough from nursing alone. I felt the same way--"Oh my, we were starving him!"

As your parents said, you certainly are doing your best.

We supplemented with Pediasure. He began to gain weight, and, once his iron was normal, he was like a totally different baby!

I will keep you in my prayers!

Peace to you.

Ouiz said...

Thank you, thank you, thank you! Joseph has gained 1.5 pounds since last weigh-in, which is HUGE!!!

God bless you all!

Suburban Cowgirl said...

Way to go Joe! (okay, I know his name is Joseph, but I really wanted the rhyme!) ;)