I'm not sure why the addition of this latest child into our family has been so difficult, but it has been a real struggle. I feel like a complete newbie as I attempt to take care of Joseph and the rest of my kids. I know I've done this before and I know it will get better as time goes on, but wow...
I keep reminding myself to take it easy and not expect perfection at this stage in the game. I can't "compete" with other moms whose children are older -- not that life is a competition, of course, but I often compare myself to others and come up woefully short (those who know me should refrain from short jokes at this moment! *grin*). I can't homeschool all my kids, AND whip up perfect meals, AND keep an immaculate house, AND lose all this pregnancy weight, AND take care of a newborn, AND stay sane. I just can't.
People are going to see me fail, and I have to learn to deal with that little lesson in humility and move on.
In the meantime, I need to take baby steps to try to get back on track. The most obvious one, of course, is trying to find a way to have time alone with God in the morning. This is not easy when the baby sleeps with me and tends to wake up easily. I guess the most important thing for me to do is simply to "show up," as it were, with whatever I can muster, and know that He understands.
Secondly, I hope to find a way to incorporate all those good ideas and wonderful suggestions and systems that I've been exposed to over the years and, with God's grace, find a way to establish routines that work for us. Life changed in a big way with baby #8, and our routines didn't... and so I've found myself floundering horribly, wondering why on earth I can't get it together.
Things will eventually return to normal. I will feel more "myself"... I will be able to think and not be so scatter-brained... the chaos will lesson somewhat... and I will have time to do what needs to be done. If this is the vocation He chose for me, and this is the path to holiness, then He will give me the grace and strength I need to function. I am hopeful, because I truly believe that He will.