Tuesday, November 09, 2010

The struggle continues

I'm not sure why the addition of this latest child into our family has been so difficult, but it has been a real struggle. I feel like a complete newbie as I attempt to take care of Joseph and the rest of my kids. I know I've done this before and I know it will get better as time goes on, but wow...

I keep reminding myself to take it easy and not expect perfection at this stage in the game. I can't "compete" with other moms whose children are older -- not that life is a competition, of course, but I often compare myself to others and come up woefully short (those who know me should refrain from short jokes at this moment! *grin*). I can't homeschool all my kids, AND whip up perfect meals, AND keep an immaculate house, AND lose all this pregnancy weight, AND take care of a newborn, AND stay sane. I just can't.

People are going to see me fail, and I have to learn to deal with that little lesson in humility and move on.

In the meantime, I need to take baby steps to try to get back on track. The most obvious one, of course, is trying to find a way to have time alone with God in the morning. This is not easy when the baby sleeps with me and tends to wake up easily. I guess the most important thing for me to do is simply to "show up," as it were, with whatever I can muster, and know that He understands.

Secondly, I hope to find a way to incorporate all those good ideas and wonderful suggestions and systems that I've been exposed to over the years and, with God's grace, find a way to establish routines that work for us. Life changed in a big way with baby #8, and our routines didn't... and so I've found myself floundering horribly, wondering why on earth I can't get it together.

Things will eventually return to normal. I will feel more "myself"... I will be able to think and not be so scatter-brained... the chaos will lesson somewhat... and I will have time to do what needs to be done. If this is the vocation He chose for me, and this is the path to holiness, then He will give me the grace and strength I need to function. I am hopeful, because I truly believe that He will.


Beth said...

I think you're awesome Ouiz :)

Ouiz said...

God bless you!!!! I think you rock, too! *grin*

Ugh, I've got to get out of this slump. I know it's temporary, but that doesn't make it much easier.

Beth said...

I think what the Ouiz family needs is a trip to Indiana to see Grandma and Grandpa... and us ;)

Ouiz said...

Thank you! Next time I go up there, I will let you know! I'd love to see you again... AND meet your new little guy, who is going to be here soon!!

Jennifer @ Conversion Diary said...

I wish I lived closer so I could come over and give you a hand!!! You'll be in my prayers.

Ouiz said...

Jennifer, thank you! I really appreciate that! (and we don't have rats or scorpions, so hopefully it would be a relaxing visit! *grin*)

I know He sees the struggles we're going through over here, and He's using every bit of this to help us grow, but right now it's just plain ugly.

I got the kids praying about our daily schedule as well -- that we can see how to organize our day so that we're not jumping from task to task and feeling totally frazzled, and I can actually manage to teach, take care of Joseph, do all the house stuff, AND (gasp) actually have time to sit down and play with my little girls!