Yuck. It's been one of those days. One of those weeks, actually. I am struggling mightily to keep my words in check, not to give in to despair/fear/jealousy, and trying to keep my house from completely falling apart.
In other words, I need the Lord's help in a big, big way.
I can feel it all creeping in, and I'm reminded that THIS is when I need to ask Him for help and to TRUST that He's taking care of everything that needs taking care of.
All of my fears for my health, our finances, and our children's futures are in His hands. He knows what we need, and He is fully capable of taking care of us.
I can turn to Him with all my wounded feelings, petty jealousies, and irritations of the day.
The second reading for this upcoming Sunday is from Romans 12 (verses 1 and 2) where we are instructed to present our bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God... and to be transformed by the renewing of our minds. It is not *fun* to be a sacrifice. This is just my paraphrase, of course, but I am to offer up all of what I consider to be "the best" of me -- my health, my dreams, my desires. All of it. And I need to ask Him to help me see things as He sees them, not the way I do.
I am also to offer up myself in service to my children. It is not *fun* to carry a cranky, germ-infested, mucous-covered 10 month old who has no idea WHAT she wants, but what you're giving her at the moment IS JUST NOT IT. Carrying her around in love, offering my service to her as service to Jesus, is another way to live out our Faith.
So, the struggle of the day begins.
I am thrilled to know that St. Therese, one of my all-time favorite saints (and one who is hearing quite a few prayers for intercession at this moment!) stressed the idea of the little way -- the little sacrifices, the little acts of love. I can't do anything big right now, but perhaps the small ones today will achieve a greater good for my soul than I can ever imagine.
And with that, I will get up from this chair, pick up this incredibly fussy baby, and start my homeschooling day.