Wednesday, October 31, 2007

I feel sorry for men

I really do.

My dh is a wonderful man, who loves his family dearly. He cherishes his children, plays with them, spends amazing amounts of time with them, and is basically just an all-around terrific dad.

And yet, in spite of all of that, it seems that God doesn't bless him, or other men, with that "babymoon" period.

You know what I'm talking about.

It's that phase, in spite of all the complications of the recovery process, in which a mom just drinks in every feature of her new baby.

How can they just not experience it?

Case in point--

me: Honey, isn't she the most beautiful baby you've ever seen?
dh: Yeah.
me: I'm serious! I mean, just LOOK at her!
dh: I know... she's a cute baby.
me: She's not just "cute" -- she's beautiful! Look at her eyes!
dh: um-hmmm.
me: They merit a whole lot more than just an "um-hmmm."
dh: [smiles sweetly] Yes, she has beautiful eyes.
me: [pause] Are you patronizing me?
dh: What?
me: Are you patronizing me? You didn't sound very sincere.
dh: Of course I mean it!
me: yeah, right....

[time passes]

me: Doesn't she just smell good?
dh: What???
me: Doesn't the smell of her just make you want to melt?
dh: um, no.
me: NO???
dh: You don't want me to lie, do you?
me: How can you not love the way she smells?
dh: I don't know... she's just a baby.
me: JUST a baby? I don't think you're trying hard enough. Here, smell her...
dh: No! I don't want to smell her!
me: Here (putting baby's head to dh's nose). Doesn't she smell heavenly?
dh: I can't smell a thing.
me: Oh COME ON!
dh: No, I'm serious.
me: She smells a lot like Kathryn did... with maybe a little bit of Thomas thrown in.
dh: How on earth do you remember that?
me: Don't you?
dh: No!
me: That's just so sad....

I'm being facetious, of course, but you get the point. I bet you've all had those same sorts of conversations with your own husbands!

My kids, at least, are enjoying the babymoon with me.

No joke. You would think that there might possibly be some jealousy issues, but there aren't. THEY sit around staring at her and telling me how beautiful/wonderful/perfect she is, and that they can't imagine a better baby.

God bless them!

Kimberly Hahn says several times in her book, Life Giving Love..., that the best gift I can give my children is siblings. I believe that is true (although I think "Loving their Daddy" ranks first). I am watching my kids love their new baby sister sacrificially and joyfully, being thrilled every moment over her presence in our lives. They "ooh and ahh" over her, making sure that all of her needs are taken care of (and many that I'm sure she never thought of!). They "call turns" over who gets to hold her next -- regardless of whether she is crying or not.

So as I type this with her snuggled against my chest, breathing in the delicious Pampers/diaper wipes/normal Grace smell and hearing her light snoring noises as she falls asleep on me, just know that I am in heaven...

Yeah, I could go for number 8.


Amy said...

Awww, I'm so glad you are enjoying your babymoon and drinking in every detail of your new blessing!

Dh and I joke that I am the man in our relationship - for some reason those "post birth hormones" don't work right in me and I don't tend towards the "babymooning" like most moms. :( My toddler is making up for it though - she can't stop touching and kissing and hugging him! :)

suburbancowgirl said...

ahhhhhhhhh. Sweet contentment when your baby snoozes away as you simply hold her.
what peace and tranquility.

Terri said...

I understand where you are coming from. My husband and I are blessed with two sweet girls who are nine and almost six. I miss my babies. We're certainly open to more, but undoubtedly God has other plans for us at least for the present. Enjoy your precious newborn.

Kristen Laurence said...

So sweet, Ouiz. I love that babymoon period - there's nothing like it. And you're right, my husband and I have had similar exchanges! :) Those men of ours seem to do better when the little ones are older.

Leila said...

This is hilarious! I am also a 40-year-old mother of seven, and I have had essentially the same conversation with my hubby. Thank you for the laugh! And you described the babymoon phase so well that I can almost imagine baby number eight....

My nine-year-old son tells me he has been praying to St. Monica for a new baby. Why St. Monica, you ask? Well, he read somewhere that she is the patron saint of children with special needs. He told me in all seriousness that he is a child with special needs: He has a "special need" for a baby sister!

Abigail said...

This is so funny! In my house, my husband is the one who has the babymoon, while I'm the one who can't wait for the littlest one to start sleeping through the night and start eating rice cereal. We always thought it was the gender thing in reverse. I'm the one who nurses her & has the c-section scars. He's the one who gets the pure pleasure of her yummy, baby sweetness.

Adele said...

How funny, so it's not just me. I'm not as patient as you. Maybe after another three children.

God bless,