Lamentations of the Father

I know this has been around for many, many years, but I had forgotten how incredibly funny it is! For all parents everywhere, here's a link to Lamentations of the Father by Ian Frazier.

Especially since I lived this just this evening:

Concerning Face and Hands

Cast your countenance upward to the light, and lift your eyes to the hills, that I may more easily wash you off. For the stains are upon you; even to the very back of your head, there is rice thereon. And in the breast pocket of your garment, and upon the tie of your shoe, rice and other fragments are distributed in a manner wonderful to see. Only hold yourself still; hold still, I say. Give each finger in its turn for my examination thereof, and also each thumb. Lo, how iniquitous they appear. What I do is as it must be; and you shall not go hence until I have done.

Courtesy of Zoe Romanowsky from Inside Catholic.