The Internet Monk is one of my favorite bloggers, hands down. Whether I agree with him or not, he always has something to say that makes me THINK.
While his latest post is the kind of post that makes me anxious -- fearful, even -- he gives us a good reminder, especially in the month of November, when we remember all those who have died. Very few of them, I imagine, got up that morning thinking, "Well, I guess this is going to be my last day here!" Whenever I hear of someone dying unexpectedly, I mentally project myself into their day. Did they have any clue that that pair of socks they put on would be their last? That they were buying their last cup of coffee? That they would be spending the last 20 minutes of their lives doing something wasteful, or offensive to God?
It's a good reminder to me to live MY life as if this were my last, but when I allow my mind to wander and think about this being the last day of someone I love, I get pretty flaky, and burn myself out trying to ensure that their "possible last day" was everything it was supposed to be, and then some. I either drown in regret ("I didn't play trains with Thomas and if this is his last day, I'll never be able to get over that") or work myself into a frenzy, never stopping to take the time for myself that I really do need.
So I have to play a bizarre mind game with myself -- living in constant awareness of my own mortality, while trying to avoid thinking of others' mortality.
Still... my own personal battles aside... this is a wonderful post, and I hope you take the time to read it.