Friday, May 11, 2007

The Secret to Freedom

Kristen over at Small Treasures wrote a beautiful post entitled "The Secret to Freedom." I hope you can all go read it...

I have found myself recently feeling quite sorry for myself. As many of you are aware, I am turning 40 next week. As I've been thinking back over my 30s, I have been focusing too much on all the small negatives that get blown way out of proportion when one is determined to have a pity party... the no longer girlish figure, hair that is going gray and always pulled back in that "Mommy ponytail" for efficency and convenience, the practical Mommy wardrobe that always seems to have some sort of stain or spill on it, a house that is decorated in "early Halloween" while others can have dream houses decorated straight out of a magazine...

You get the idea.

It's easy to feel inferior to others when I judge myself according to those standards. At this stage of my life, I CAN'T have the hair, the wardrobe, the showroom-clean house, etc... and, the way it's looking, I'll be in my 60s before the last one leaves the nest.

But you know... it doesn't really matter.

Sure, I may throw a pity party now and then, and have a good cry over whatever it is that I think I may be missing, but let me tell you what I *do* have --

I have a husband that I love, and who loves me, more than I ever dreamed possible. I am sharing this life and this vocation with my best friend, and I am so blessed.

I have six little kids sleeping soundly in their beds right now... six little ones who snuggled with me, kissed me, settled into the crook of my arm while I read them stories, told me I was the "best Mommy in the world," (and went to bed TRULY believing that), and drifted off into dreamland, knowing full well that they are watched over by the Lord and His angels, and loved dearly by Mommy and Daddy.

I will take Sean's stories over a trip to an exotic locale...
Reilly's pictures over a perfectly designed room...
Kathryn's sweet smile and caring service over a dinner at a 4-star restaurant...
Christopher's joy and conversation over stimulating conversation at a dinner party...
Thomas lovingly brushing the hair out of my face over a perfect hairstyle...
and Marie's exuberance at being with me over any kudos I could receive in a career.

I have been blessed... in all the ways that truly matter.

6 comments:

Christine said...

Amen!

Kristen Laurence said...

Thank you for your kindness, and what a beautiful post. Happy Mother's Day to a beautiful, wonderful mother!

Beth said...

Happy Mother's Day and Birthday! You are very blessed :) I hope that I can have 7 kids by the time I"m 40!!

Ladybug Mommy Maria said...

Beautiful!

I'll be 40 in 8 months and I understand your thought process! I'm learning it's about being present to gratitude!

Truthfully, you look great in your pic! Hope you enjoyed your birthday!

Suzanne said...

Oh great, now you have me crying. This is a great post and I have bookmarked it, as I have been very good over the past few weeks with having pity parties for myself....I'm getting to be an expert pity-party-planner! it's pathetic! thanks for posting.

Ouiz said...

It's just nice to know I'm not the only one out there who feels like this!!!