Thursday, March 15, 2007

Roach update

OK, I think we all got freaked out over AKA_Meritt's roach horror story (crawled up HER LEG while she was DRIVING!!! [massive shudder].....Oh man, I can't even hang my legs over the chair now... I've got them tucked under me, Indian style. They'll be nice and safe now...]

So, I will share with you my personal horror story.

I was at a friend's house at the beach. We were all on the floor, watching a movie (had the lights out to have that wonderful "in a theater" effect) and all of a sudden I saw a HUGE "palmetto bug" run right in front of the TV. I prided myself in my rather panicked yet somewhat subdued reaction. I calmly asked someone to please kill the thing while I slowly backed up towards the sliding glass door I was next to.

What came next was straight out of a horror movie. I swear I heard... clicking noises.

I turned around and there, no more than an inch or two away from my hand, was what I could only describe as a "nest" of roaches. Huge, greasy, clicking things crawling all over each other.

Did you know I have the power to simultaneously scream bloody murder and leap across the room in one jump?

I found out that evening that yes, I can.

Yes, indeed.

I was in near hysterics, on the couch across the room. As my friends were trying to calm me down, the roaches decided to take my little skip through hell just one step further.

Yes ma'am, they decided to fly.

I tell you, they can smell fear, 'cause they were headed my way out of pure spite. I was pushed WAY beyond my limits of endurance, and ran screaming for my life out of that room.

No joke. All this happened to me about... oh wow... 18 years ago, and I still shudder every time I think of it.



Beth said...

Sorry, that is hilarious! I am holding Madeleine and she was sleeping on me but I was laughing so hard it woke her up! ;-)
Poor thing though - that would freak me out too!

Kristen Laurence said...

Oh, this is just too funny! Just think, had it not been for roaches, you never would have known you were Superwoman!

I have the same fear, but of big black spiders (the fat ones, not daddy long legs)! My husband has come to my own rescue many times!

Have a great weekend!

aka_Meritt said...

I broke out in goose bumps reading that and... I might have thrown up a little.


Ouiz said...

As a final "touch of irony" to this story, I was walking to my bedroom this morning to wake up my daughter, and low and behold, yet another roach had made its way indoors (it's been raining recently, and they're coming in because of it).

No husband in sight, I took what was in my hand (my jar of cold cream) and tiptoed up to it (it was barely moving -- they don't live long indoors, or so says my pest control guy), slammed the jar on top of it, then did the "ewww... ewwww.... big roach" dance that my family knows so well.

My oldest son checked on my handiwork, finished off the job, and took care of dispensing of the little monster.

He was my hero this morning.

Ladybug Mommy Maria said...

Oh, YUCK! Roaches have to be the WORST insect!

I think fleeing from roaches could be an Olympic event in your's (and my) cases!

ThG said...

That is a great story. I had a similar incident when I was 7 mos. pregnant with my daughter. I was at my parents' house watching a movie, and a huge palmetto bug appeared on the current in the den. My mom and I saw it at the same time. As we pointed at it in fear, it flew toward us. My mother pushed me out of her way as she crawled across me to escape. No grandmotherly concern for her unborn grandchild there, I'll tell you. I thought I was going to have that baby right there. My dad calmly grabbed it after it landed on his neck and promptly killed it all the while wondering what was wrong with us.